Unhappy Lawyers: How to Find Happiness in the Legal Profession
Why Lawyers Are Unhappy
Whether you’re a partner at a law firm or an associate, it’s normal to feel unhappy. The good news is that you can fix it.
Happier lawyers have a life that aligns with their values and priorities and allows them to use their gifts. The three key reasons why lawyers are unhappy are: lack of autonomy, isolation, and zero-sum game mentality.
1. You’re not in control
Despite being some of the highest-paid professionals, lawyers are disproportionately unhappy. They suffer from depression, alcoholism and drug abuse at rates far higher than other working people. They are also plagued with anxiety and stress.
This unhappiness is rooted in the very nature of what lawyers do. Lawyers are trained to see problems and to look for reasons why things won’t work – much like the person who calls the plumber for a clogged toilet.
But this ability to anticipate the worst, and a general pessimistic approach to life, is not good for you or your client. It leads to attorney depression and is why large law firm culture frowns upon showing any sort of vulnerability on the job.
2. You’re a pessimist
Law is a profession that attracts people who don’t really know what they want to do with their lives. They take it because it seems practical, safe and secure, and it’s a path that leads to biglaw firms where they can avoid having to think too hard about career options.
Pessimism is a necessary part of the job for a lawyer, as it allows them to anticipate snares and calamities in any transaction. But that same pessimism can also cause a lawyer to be unhappy.
Many attorneys feel they can’t be themselves at work and that is one of the primary reasons they are unhappy. It’s a big reason why attorneys have such high rates of depression and alcoholism/substance abuse. In contrast, doctors, who pay much more for med school and have longer training, don’t suffer from the same kind of discontent.
3. You’re in a zero-sum game
One of the core skills that lawyers are trained in is a form of pessimism called “prudence.” Prudence helps attorneys anticipate the many snares and catastrophes that might otherwise catch them unaware. Unfortunately, it also translates into a zero-sum game mentality.
Lawyers must be able to compete against other lawyers and even their own colleagues without getting bogged down in negativity or conflict. They must be able to use competing as a tool for client service.
While it is true that most clients don’t come to lawyers with happy news – they are usually going through a divorce, have a contract dispute or are struggling with debt – it is not fair to treat every situation as a zero-sum game. Ultimately, the practice of law is not for everyone.
4. You’re tired of dealing with other people’s problems
There are few jobs that are harder on a person’s morals than being an attorney. One reason is that attorneys feel pressure to not show any weakness in the workplace. As a result, they often feel unable to express their emotions. This can lead to a sense of inadequacy and a lack of meaning in life.
The tone deaf partners they don’t trust, the overly ambitious fellow associates they compete with, and the endless false deadlines can be overwhelming. Over time, if this continues, lawyers may become increasingly withdrawn and isolated from friends, family and co-workers.
If you are an unhappy lawyer, it’s important to discover the root cause of your unhappiness. The good news is there has never been a better time to find a career that is right for you.
5. You’re sick of the adversarial nature of the business
For many attorneys, their unhappiness is rooted in the adversarial nature of the business. It’s common for attorneys to feel like they are battling with the “other side” and that their adversary is looking to exploit any weakness or mistake.
While pessimistic attitudes, zero-sum beliefs and a spirit of competition are great for driving career success in law school and practice, these characteristics are not as good for long-term professional happiness. Moreover, they often make attorneys susceptible to mental health and substance abuse.
If you’re an unhappy attorney, the first step to changing your mindset is to get clear on what you like, don’t like and want. Then, take steps to identify an alternative career that will provide you with a happier work-life. I help unhappy lawyers find jobs that call on their strengths and allow them to make a meaningful impact.
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